


The Last Item on the List

by Candy_A



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, First Kiss, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 02:33:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5767978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Candy_A/pseuds/Candy_A
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an epilogue to 6.12, Danny's moral support as Steve mourns Aunt Deb's passing leads to a turning point in their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last Item on the List

THE LAST ITEM ON THE LIST

By

Candy Apple

 

Steve walked into the silent house and just stood there a moment. Aunt Deb's death had been hard for both him and Mary to handle. It wasn't unexpected, but it was unexpected at that moment, when it happened. Aunt Deb was going to die someday, probably sooner than later, but her upbeat personality and zest for life had allowed them to not confront the grim reality of just how soon it was coming. Even then, having Mary and Joanie around had made it all a little easier to handle.

Now that he'd dropped them off at the airport, the house seemed unbearably empty and quiet. He went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, looking for a beer.

“Shit,” he muttered, seeing he was out of beer.

Figuring the next logical thing to do was clean up after his company and throw the sheets and towels in the laundry, he went upstairs and changed the bed in the room Mary and Joanie had shared and piled the sheets up with the used towels in a large laundry basket in the hall while he went into the master bedroom to change his own bed and pick up towels. He'd continued sleeping in the spare bedroom immediately after Aunt Deb passed away in his room. It hadn't really been a conscious decision; it just seemed more natural than moving back into the master bedroom right away.

Now the house was empty, Aunt Deb's physical remains were dust on a mountainside, and it was time to move on. So he took the towels out of the bathroom and added them to the basket of laundry in the hall. Then he stood at the foot of the bed, but couldn't quite seem to get at changing it. Instead, he stared at it and remembered Aunt Deb's faint smile, her little wave, and then her quiet passing. He was grateful he'd made it up there when he did, that he hadn't been delayed any longer or hadn't decided to let her sleep in later. When he walked in the room, it was so close to the end, he could have so easily missed that final goodbye.

Then he heard someone trying the door downstairs, and then ringing the bell. He smiled faintly at that. Only Danny would try his door first and then ring the bell.

He went downstairs and opened the door. Danny stood there with a six pack of beer.

“Mary and Joanie headed back to the mainland?” he asked.

_Yes. I'm alone and this house is unbearably silent._

“Yeah, I just got back from the airport,” Steve said, stepping back to let Danny in. “And I'm out of beer.”

“Then my timing is perfect,” Danny replied, heading for the kitchen. He was still limping a bit.

“How's the ankle?” Steve asked.

“Not too bad. Got kind of tired with all the standing around at Gracie's cheer competition. Charlie got a kick out of watching his big sister doing her thing, getting all that applause,” he added, smiling. Danny had taken Charlie along and traveled out of town with Grace for a cheerleading competition while he was off work because of his ankle.

“How'd she do?”

“Her team came in second,” Danny said, smiling. “Would have been first if the judges weren't swayed by the other team playing the patriotic card with their little flag outfits and doing a routine to 'Living in the USA'. I mean, how is any other team supposed to compete with that when you've got the whole crowd up dancing and waving little flags? It's not gonna matter how good the other teams' dancing is, or how many stumbles one of their kids makes. Wrap it up in a flag and get everybody dancing and skill goes out the window...”

Steve knew Danny kept ranting about the clearly inferior team that beat Grace's team for first place, but somewhere along the line, he stopped paying attention to the words and just soaked up Danny's presence, and how good it felt to have him there.

“Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get going on that,” Danny said, looking at Steve with that concerned expression of his, when he was trying to play it casual and yet all his concern for Steve was right there in his clear blue eyes. “Steve?” he prompted, and Steve realized he was just staring at him, fighting tears until he couldn't fight them anymore. Or, maybe, it seemed pointless to fight them. Danny was there, and he felt like he could finally let go and lean on someone.

No, that wasn't right. _He could lean on Danny._

“Babe, I'm sorry,” Danny said softly, pulling him into one of those hugs that shouldn't feel so good and so sheltering and so complete when Steve was the larger of the two of them. But there was something about Danny's hugs that was larger than Danny himself. It was in their warmth and their intensity, and it was some secret healing power that Danny seemed to have when it came to Steve's hurts or his fears. “I should have ignored you and come home,” he said.

Kono had called Danny to tell him about Aunt Deb, and Danny had called Steve, who told him not to cut his trip with the kids short. Mary and Joanie were there, and Aunt Deb didn't want a traditional funeral anyway. They'd had a little gathering at the house, sat around and reminisced a bit about Deb, and the next day Steve, Mary, and Joanie had made their voyage up the mountainside with her ashes and scattered them, symbolically completing her bucket list.

“It's okay. I didn't want you to mess up Gracie's big event,” Steve said, pulling back a little, brushing at his eyes.

“She wanted to come home, too,” Danny said, handing him a piece of paper towel. Something about the big, awkward hunk of towel made Steve smile as he wiped his nose and eyes with it. “That's what family does, Steven.”

“Aunt Deb wouldn't have wanted her death to stop people from living, doing things they love.”

“Come on, let's go out back for a while, have a couple beers.”

So they went out back and sat in the chairs and drank the six pack and stared at the ocean. Steve reminisced a little about Aunt Deb, and then he urged Danny to talk about his time with the kids. He wanted to talk about life instead of death, to listen to Danny's voice instead of his own.

“Grace and Charlie are back at Rachel's,” he concluded. “Why don't you come over to my place, stay there for a couple nights?”

“I'm fine here,” Steve said immediately. It was a lie. He was grieving and lonely after getting used to having Mary and Joanie there for a while. He couldn't think of anything that would sound better than going home with Danny. Maybe that's why he didn't want to do it. Because at a point, he'd have to come back here alone, and he was bound to cross paths with Melissa and get to see, first hand, that Danny had a girlfriend who appeared to be sticking around this time.

Well, Steve had urged him to bring her closer, and he had. And kept her around. Steve put that advice out there when their lives were in danger. Instead of taking Danny in his arms in that hot, miserable, death trap under all that concrete and finally telling him that he was everything...that he loved him, and not as a friend...he'd used that moment to encourage Danny to cling to his girlfriend. So he had no one to blame but himself, and to split that up and fuck up the first sign of a stable relationship with a woman Danny had since Rachel seemed selfish at best. Assuming, of course, that Danny would be so thrilled at the thought of having Steve for his own that he'd drop his ten-years-younger girlfriend so he could shake the sheets with his male partner.

“I know you'll be fine. But you don't need to be alone here.” Danny was quiet a moment. “She was in your room?” he asked carefully.

“Yeah, I thought she'd be more comfortable having the room with its own bathroom. I was in the guest room. It wasn't anything awful. It was all peaceful and...” Steve let the words trail off. It was all peaceful and awful. It was still death. The death of someone who had loved him like a mother should, like his own mother didn't.

“Enough. You're coming home with me and that's final. Besides, I have more beer there,” he added, lightening the mood a little.

“Okay, maybe just for tonight,” he agreed. “For the beer,” he joked, and Danny chuckled at that.

Steve threw a couple things in a gym bag while Danny turned out the lights and headed out to the car. He smiled when he walked out and saw Danny was in the passenger seat, and tossed the keys out the window at Steve as he approached, catching them.

It felt good to be in Danny's house, away from all the ghosts in his own place. Sometimes the shadows of the past were comforting in a way, reminders of a happier time when he was a child and both of his parents were around and he thought life was normal. Other times, like tonight, the ghosts of the dead or missing were oppressive and just made his grief harder to get through.

Danny had three bedrooms: the master bedroom, Grace's room, and a guest room that was now being converted to Charlie's room for when he visited. Steve planned on crashing on the couch. That was fine with him. He'd slept worse places.

“Why don't you bunk with me?” Danny asked, jerking his thumb toward the master bedroom as they stood in the living room. “At least you won't be folded up on the couch that way, and Charlie wanted a race car bed, so if you sleep in his room, your feet are going to be on a plastic dashboard instead of hanging off the end of the mattress.”

“Charlie wanted that, huh?” Steve teased, looking in the door of that bedroom.

“Okay, so I always wanted one when I was a kid, but he thought it was a cool idea.”

“The couch is okay,” Steve said, setting his bag there. “I mainly came for the beer,” he added, sitting on the couch.

“Gee, thanks, pal. Good to see you, too.” Danny headed into the kitchen and returned with a couple beers, sitting on the couch next to Steve. His warmth felt good, and he smelled good, too. Steve ran his arm along the back of the couch, behind Danny. “TV?” Danny asked, picking up the remote. If he noticed Steve's patented smooth move with his arm, he didn't say anything. He didn't move away, either.

“Sure, whatever,” Steve said. He took a drink of his beer. He was just glad to be with Danny. He didn't care what they watched, or didn't watch. He was more interested in watching those soft little pink lips of Danny's that were guarded by a bit of prickly stubble.

“You okay?” Danny asked, frowning.

_Yeah, fine. I was just staring at your lips and wondering what they might taste like._

“Yeah, why?”

“You just seemed zoned out there for a minute.”

“I wish Aunt Deb had a chance to spend more time with you. Get to know you better.”

“So do I. I guess we all thought we had more time...I would have changed my plans if I'd had any idea it was so close...”

“Knowing Aunt Deb, that's why she didn't say anything. She didn't want us all moping around waiting for her to die instead of enjoying the time we had left,” he said, swallowing the lump that brought to his throat. “I wish I'd had the guts to say something .”

“Say something about what?” Danny asked, looking at him quizzically.

“She felt bad for me about Catherine, that I hadn't found someone to settle down with.”

“I don't understand.”

“I should have told her...” He sighed. “I should have told her what you meant to me while there was still time.”

Danny stared at him a moment, then blinked a couple times. “You mean...?”

“Yeah.” Steve sat there, wishing he had something more profound to say. Or that he was smoother with romantic declarations. God knows Danny deserved more than what he was getting.

“How long?”

“Long time,” Steve admitted, looking away. “Years.”

“You were ready to propose to Catherine.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So? So...if you were in love with me, what the fuck were you doing proposing to her?”

“Did I miss the part where you said something to let me know you were interested in me that way?”

“This isn't about me right now,” Danny insisted, gesturing at himself.

“It kind of is.”

“Bullshit, Steven. You're the one who just told me you wanted me for years and you're the one who pushed me to take things to the next level with Amber while you were practically living with Catherine--”

“Melissa.”

“What?” Danny paused, still red-faced and angry.

“Melissa. You called her Amber.”

“You're trying to deflect me.”

“No, I'm just making a point, Danny. You called your girlfriend by the wrong name. So maybe she's not such a big factor.”

“I didn't propose to her, either. You were all goofy and excited about marrying Catherine. You got her a ring and you were ready to propose. Do you have any fucking idea what that did to me?” Danny demanded, standing up and pacing.

“I thought you were happy for me.”

“Because I thought that's what you wanted! What was I supposed to say? Don't marry her, marry me instead?”

“Would have been worth a try,” Steve said.

“Fuck you, Steven. Fuck. You.” Danny limped into his bedroom and slammed the door.

Steve sat on the couch a few minutes, trying to figure out how that conversation had gone south so fast. After about half an hour, he went to the door and knocked.

“You've got your choice of the couch or the race car bed,” Danny replied.

“Danny, come on, at least talk to me.”

“Yeah, I've done that. A lot. You like to remind me how much talking I do.”

“I tell you how I feel and you slam a door in my face.”

“I must have missed the part where you actually told me anything. You just want to fuck me, you're in love with me, want to have my babies, what?” he shouted back.

“All but the last one,” Steve replied, hoping the humor might help. Danny opened the door.

“Tell me then.”

“I just did.”

“No, you didn't. Goddammit, say something!”

Steve stared at Danny a moment and then grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him. He was waiting for Danny to fight him, but the fight never came, and before he knew it, Danny's arms were going around him and his mouth was opening and they were kissing for real. Deep, hot, passionate, hungry, and desperate. He was backing Danny up and they were falling on the bed, pulling at each other's clothes, groping, petting, hands going in each other's pants. Steve wasn't sure what he wanted to focus on: the feeling of Danny's warm hand on him, stroking him, or the feeling of Danny's growing erection in his hand while he was making Danny moan and arch under him. It was all hot and amazing and life-altering.

That was one thing that stood out clearly: nothing would ever be the same again. And if he couldn't have Danny this way, nobody else would ever be able to match the heat and the love of this moment.

Danny came first, grabbing Steve's ass and shouting his name. Steve was close behind him, moaning and gasping in pleasure as he came in Danny's hand.

They lay there a few seconds, breathing hard, hands slick with each other's come, still mostly dressed and having done it on the bedspread. Still, he hadn't given Danny what he asked for. Words. Words were important to Danny, and Steve wasn't going to let something so simple stand between them anymore.

“I love you, Danno,” he whispered in Danny's ear.

“I love you, too, you Neanderthal animal,” he responded, kissing Steve.

“Is that a complaint?” Steve asked, kissing his way down Danny's neck.

“No, it's a compliment,” he joked.

Steve was quiet a moment, holding Danny close. He felt an odd sense of peace, and then he felt something else he couldn't quite define. It was almost unsettling, because it was such a strong feeling, but it was also a good, warm, wonderful feeling.

“You okay, babe?” Danny asked, touching his cheek.

“Yeah, more than okay,” Steve replied, his voice strained. “Aunt Deb approves,” he added quietly, smiling, knowing he’d fulfilled the item Aunt Deb hadn’t written on her bucket list, but that he knew still worried her as she slipped peacefully into the next life. She wanted to see him happy, loved, and settled into a lifetime relationship. He wondered if his jeweler could reset that engagement diamond into a nice man’s ring…


End file.
